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Where It Began

It’s been over a month at my first “real” job. I still get paid some days to read and stare at the computer, which is nothing to complain about because it gives me time to read books that I want to read (I’ve finished Anna Karenina and Arabian Nights at work, and I am more than half way through reading some selected short stories by Anton Chekhov).
When I sit at the front desk at the law office, I look at the couch where I once sat three times waiting for three separate interviews. It’s weird to consider how little I knew at that point. I was ignorant of what went on beyond that entry room and the conference room where I was interviewed. The other day, I was turning the lights off in the conference room and remembered how peppy I felt on the day of my second interview and how I sat up straight and made witty comments from one of the conference room chairs. Again, the perspective was different back then. I wasn’t sure if I was sitting in an office that I would work in, I wasn’t sure what the job even entailed.

Now, I understand, somewhat what happens beyond the reception room. And I understand what my job entails. Where once I thought about employment, I now ponder graduate school. All those empty hours in front of the work computer have led me to a nearby university’s website, where I’ve contacted the graduate studies director for the English program and discussed if it was possible to work full-time and go to school (I contacted him outside of work, for the record. I know the boundaries between work and play). I’ve found out that the graduate courses in English are all night courses, which means it is possible to go there, which means I have to prepare for the GREs since I haven’t taken them.

So, five weeks ago I started this job and my perspective was different. It’s changed now and I am not so ignorant. I’m getting comfortable with my coworkers, I’ve been given files to take care of, I’ve helped one of the lawyers organize, and I am continuing to settle into a job that doesn’t require odd hours, weekends, and going up ladders.

One lawyer, he’s younger, fresh out of law school….he has been fairly shy with me. I think he feels bad giving me projects. He has a habit of not looking me in the eyes when he tells me to do something, which makes me believe he feels uncomfortable. I’ve tried my best to get him to feel less timid, especially since I work with him the most. Who would have thought that a job would come with an assignment such as making one of your coworkers comfortable? I certainly didn’t think about what kind of coworker relationships and problems inside those would result from getting the job while I sat on the couch in the reception room on the day of my first interview.
I never thought about how I would have multiple files at my desk, which were my responsibility to maintain. I never considered the possibility of being able to read the majority of the day at my desk while I waited for the phone to ring. All these things were far from my mind, replaced by idealized versions of what a job would mean: answering the phone, doing things so well that everyone was amazed, and over all just doing job things which made me stand out as an intelligent, deserving employee.

Two months out of college and I am only now beginning to grasp at the fibers of where this all began.
P.S. I promise to do a blog on something literary soon. Chekhov enraptures me, so I will be sure to talk about his stories sometime. I give up on trying to write a final Anna Karenina post since it’s been long enough away from it that I am sure the pages I flagged will be hard to pin down in a post.

Happy blogging, working, writing, reading, etc.!

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